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Scent that lures a woman to a man

News » Lifestyle

Scent that lures a woman to a man

By Juliet Bumah


While hunting for the perfect relationship, the common traits women seek alter with age, writes Juliet Bumah

Many women are of the opinion that it is a chauvinist who invented the Yoruba saying, Owo lo’birin mo (it is money that decides the direction of a woman’s love). Similarly, they insist that a cocky Igbo man gave married women the label, Oliaku (one who came to enjoy the wealth accumulated by a man).

These women insist that they are drawn to men who are caring, who show signs of commitment and are trustworthy and not necessarily money. But then, these traits are difficult to discern in a man, until the woman has had dealings with him.

So really, what does a woman look for in a relationship? Princess Kathy qualifies to be called a Lagos big girl. She owns a shop in a good neighbourhood, where she stocks gifts and fashion accessories.

She tells SATURDAY PUNCH, “Basically, I look out for a person that makes me comfortable, that I can be my true self with; someone that inspires and can protect me. Someone who possesses a youthful, happy spirit and is positive minded.” All in just one man? What about money? “Money answereth all things. Yes, money is important, but money without understanding is emptiness. I have seen many men with money, but I cannot date them. I can only use them as a sex object. By the way, what is money? The ability of a man to take care of his woman is not based on money. Some men are not rich but what they would do for you is richer than what a rich man could ever do.”

So why haven’t you hooked a man? Kathy who is inching close to 40 years replies, “The problem is that most good boys can only offer you good sex. They can’t afford the good things of life.”

While other respondents say companionship holds a relationship together, they mention sincerity, faithfulness, respect security as part of those things that make a relationship enduring.

However, to Mrs. Adebisi, money should be the least on a lady’s mind if she truly wants a healthy relationship. “Rich men don’t make happy husbands. Many of them are conceited and seldom take good care of their wives. I met my husband while we were corps members. So you know that he didn’t have money then,” she says. But what if the man cannot do? “Haaa,” she exclaims, “No o. I cannot take that o. I cannot live with a man who cannot do. Aah, unless God says he’s the one but, aaaah...” Obviously, even as a professed Christian, she believes that sex is a major ingredient in a relationship.

Mrs. Jenni believes that though there is a need for trust, self satisfaction, commitment and all, money is equally important. “Money is a backup anytime. That comfort has to be there,” she declares. What about the ability to satisfy the sexual needs of a woman? She answers, “The choice is entirely that of the person involved. It is either she gets satisfaction elsewhere or she lives with it. Either way, the choice is hers.”

Ololade, 25, is a fresh graduate in her first job. She is also looking forward to settling down with the man of her dreams before she is 27. “I’ve given myself a deadline for marriage. I should be out of my parents’ house by the time I’m 27. My ideal man should be good looking, successful, caring, must love me and ready to take very good care of me,” she says.

What if you can’t get all these qualities in a single man, which of them can you do without? “But my man must love me now. He must be ready to take care of me. In fact, I cannot do without any of these qualities and he must be romantic.” Have you met the man? “I’m in a relationship right now but he is not as successful as I desire. You see, he is in his first job. It will take him sometime to get there. I really may not wait for him, you know,” she says.

Really, so a man’s looks is equally important? “Girlfriend, a man’s look is important at first, but when you are in race against time, it becomes the least of your problems. Moreover, these days, you rarely get a good looking, rich man. They are too few and all the babes are after them. More importantly, these rich fine-faced men are arrogant. They are aware they’ve got what an average lady wants,” another respondent says.

No doubt, the ‘dough and good looking men combo’ are not so common, and as the happening babes on campus would say, “The bad girls ‘net’ the good guys, while the good girls are left with the bad guys.”

But then, how does one determine beauty in a man? The Igbo man comes to the rescue, Mmanwoke bu ego (a man’s handsomeness is measured by his wealth).

Yes, women do look for different qualities in men, but there are some universal truths in womankind’s grand hunt for the perfect relationship. - Nigerian news, Lifestyle news, naija, Nigeria, West Africa

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Updated 7 Years ago

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